I have shared with you” my readers” about my past before so
this quote I caught from a online fb sight should be no surprise. “Overcoming
Sexual Abuse FB Page” "Many neglected and
abused children grow up to be adults who are afraid to take risks of striking
out on their own. Many will remain dependent on their abusive parents and
unable to separate from them. Others leave their abusive parents only to attach
themselves to a partner who is controlling.” Nice Girl Syndrome by Beverly Engel (Thank god I have a good man not one whom is controlling!)
This past weekend I participated in my first 5K Obstacle Run.
I have to explain to you because when I was a teen and “When everything hit the
fan”, I was diagnosed with Dysthymia (dis-THIE-me-uh) is a mild but long-term (chronic) form of
depression. Symptoms usually last for at least two years, and often for much
longer than that. Dysthymia interferes with your ability to function and enjoy
life. Loss of interest in daily activities: Sadness or feeling down, hopelessness,
tiredness and lack of energy, low self-esteem, self-criticism or feeling
incapable, trouble concentrating and trouble making decisions, irritability or
excessive anger, decreased activity, effectiveness and productivity, avoidance
of social activities, feelings of guilt and worries over the past, poor
appetite or overeating, sleep problems.
I felt as if I have let this disorder cripple me all these years
I started to depend on my husband who had been my rock for so long that I didn't realize I was holding myself back from the things I really wanted to enjoy and
participate in. I decided to enter this 5K obstacle run for myself to challenge
myself to see how far I have grown. I am here to tell ya’ll I was sooooo very
nervous to do this I was begging people to sign up for my heat so I would have
a running partner of course nobody did(I guess they were just scared)J. I soon realized for me to do what I want I need
to step out an own it all by myself! I did just that. I got on T.H.O.R. Facebook and asked who was running in my same Heat (running time). I wanted to
get out and meet new people make new connections. I did meet some great ladies
from the YMCA that invited me to run with them. The day of the race I meet with
my run time and I had one problem I never meet these ladies before and had no
way of recognizing them, nor did we set a meeting spot. I did what anyone else
would have done and met new people all over again. These people seem to be
really nice people as we started the run I thought to myself what if I can’t
keep up with them? I decided once they started to slow down that I could finish
this by myself. I started then to believe in myself something that I have never
done. This gave me the motivation to just keep running only stopping a few
times before obstacles’ to catch my breath.
This video above was last years run so you can get the idea.
I ran through mud, standing water,
tires, over cars, over large wooden spools, over fences and walls. I approached
the rope courses, rope walls and monkey bridges with ease. I was really
impressed with myself! I sat back and watched so many others struggle to climb
or approach an obstacle. When I saw someone struggle I was right behind them
cheering them on hoping my cheers gave them motivation. Everyone behind me sat
and stared impatiently waiting their turn complaining and grumbling on how they
should have skipped the obstacle. It really surprised me after all; we are all
on the same team why not encouraging and help each other? The end of the course
was the one I dreaded the most! I saw it coming into the race they had a swamp
boat set up on the bank of the tiny river we have. They set up pallets to make
it easier to get into the river without slipping, and then you had to cross the
river with the swamp boat motor at full force blowing wind and water in your
face. As I crossed the mucky, nasty, can’t be seen threw water I kept telling myself I can do this I can finish. Dark murky water that you can’t see
threw to the bottom is one of my biggest fears! I did it! I crossed and
finished the race in about one hour. I believe I would have been finished
sooner if there wasn't a hold up at some of the obstacles’ I waited 20 min just
to go over the net rope wall. In conclusion, I am so proud of myself! I
completed the course with confidence and a new found person with an addiction
to the T.H.O.R Obstacle Run! I plan to research other obstacle runs in the
future and demolish these as well! Sit and watch guys because my past will not
determine my future!!!
